All you've got

All You've got is all you can give and that will always be enough.

I made a few small changes to my website - nothing major but I always think it is exciting when I make a change....  and when I figure it out on my own (with only a few curse words).  Check them out - I added some information / quick clicks on the sides.  It fills up some space and adds a few pictures for color as well.

I used a picture that was taken last Easter.  Gosh, I just can't even believe that time has gone by so fast. It's scary really.  Just sitting here thinking about what Brayden was like and what he was doing...  It is hard for me to remember.  Then, I get disappointed.  Why didn't I take more videos?  Why didn't I snap more pictures? Why didn't I take the time to write it down?  I think to myself, I will never forget this.  But, then every day that goes by something else amazing happens and it pushes the other memories further and further back making it harder to retrieve.  I also realized, gulp...  I haven't taken as many pictures of LB since I started these other projects.  That makes me sad too.  I need to do better... and that's ok.  This whole business about living...  that's really what it is about.  Live = Learn... and it is always enough.  There may not be as many pictures, but we still have the time together and that's what matters most.

Life & Learning {What really matters}

We have all done it.  Mumbled impatiently under our breath when someone is waiting on us and doesn't go the speed that we would like them to.  Cursed at the person that is driving to slow (even though it is probably the speed limit).  Rolled our eyes at the coworker that seems distracted, uninterested, and unmotivated.  We don't know their story.  People can look healthy on the outside. Mentally.  Physically.  Emotionally.  Everyone has a struggle.  Everyone has life defining moments.  Times in their life that changes them forever. Some for the better, some... not so much.  Everyone has their own story.  For that person, it is their world and the rest of us are just background. just noise.  If we each paid alittle closer attention we might recognize that our interactions with others really matter.  If we only knew the struggles someone has behind their own closed doors, we may speak softer and smile sweater.  Not only with our mouths but with our eyes and heart as well.  It is amazing what eye contact and a genuine smile can do for someone's day. 

For the past 6 months I have been struggling.  I was having numbness and tingling in my arms and legs.  That is some pretty scary stuff.  I am a hypochondriac, but this feeling really freaked me out.  It went on for 4 months and I kept silently suspecting the worst.  I finally went to the doctor - Blood work was normal.  B12 for a month and see what happens.  Another month and nothing changed - it actually progressively got worse.  I got to add extreme muscle twitching to my list of symptoms.  Back to the doctor.  She gave me a referral to a Neurologist.  More waiting.  More worrying. 

I finally get to the Neurologist and we discussed my symptoms.  He mentioned what I had been suspecting...  torturing myself with for months.  MS.  Multiple Sclerosis.  Demylination.  Brain lesions.  Unfortunately, I was familiar with the disease. We would do an MRI of the brain to confirm or rule out.  I waited and worried.  Those next 5 days seemed like a lifetime.  I went into the MRI very comfortable.  I was excited to see my brain.  I may seem like a total nerd - but the study of the brain fascinates me.  If I could be anything not limited by money (or brain capacity) I would be a Neuro Surgeon.  I love it.  Also, I thought that through the research I had done online, I would be able to read my own MRI.  They were giving me the files right after so I thought I could confirm / rule it out all on my own and the 2 weeks I had to wait to see my neurologist wouldn't matter.  Well.  I learned 2 things.  1. I am not a radiologist.  2. There was no way I could wait.  Curiosity kills the cat...  and that is exactly what it was doing to me.  I poured over these MRI scans searching, for hours.  All I saw was a healthy brain.  If it was healthy then WHY did I feel this way? Everything I did while waiting for the answers felt like slow motion.  I felt like I was standing there watching the world pass by.  Everyone went about their everyday and mine had stopped.  All I could think about is Brayden.  What did that mean for him?  It helped me to see what really mattered more clearly.  Who and what should be allowed to impact my life. 

So, I stalked my Neurologist. He was taking appointments at another office and I was able to get in.  He confirmed, in fact, my brain was perfectly healthy.  No MS. Wow.  I felt as though everything seamed lighter but only briefly.  My elation was brought back to reality with the silent constant reminder, the numbness and muscle twitches.  What is it?  So, another MRI was scheduled for my cervical spine.  MS can be in the spine and not in the brain - only about 10% of the time but it needed to be ruled out.  So, I scheduled the imaging and waited.  I did my scan and told myself I would not look at the images. I did really well for 2 days.  Then the day before my neuro follow up I couldn't take it any more.  I once again gave my radiology skills a try.  I even looked it up on YouTube.  And YES, they do have videos on how to read your MRI's.  So, I studied them closely.  My spine looked clean and healthly.  I was convinced there was no MS.  So, I breathed a sigh of relief.  However, I noticed something not right - but, I knew I had to wait for my appointment.  I put my images away until my appointment.  I arrived on time - but had to wait 2 hours... the longest 2 hours...  I was having a major flare up in my leg.  It hurt to sit.  It hurt to stand.  And, I was to nervous to do either.  My wonderful Mom came with me to both appointments.  I typically like to do things by myself. But, it was great having her there.  She helped pass the time and calm my nerves.  

Cervical Spine Scan - Feb '12The neurologist walks in. "It isn't MS.  Your spinal cord looks healthy.  However, (longest pause ever)...  You do have a bulge."  A bulge??  Is that a medical term?  He points to a spot on C5.  My disc is bulging and putting pressure on my spin.  Not typical for someone my age but no real concerns.  It shouldn't get worse for many, many years - as long as I live a healthy life style.  Don't get in a car accident.  No heavy lifting.  Focus on proper posture.  Take your vitamins. Stretch.  At that moment I exhaled  (for the first time in months) - and, I think my mom did too.  

So, this means a couple things:

1) I now have an excuse forever to get out of lifting anything that is 'heavy'.  Heavy is a subjective term...  lucky me! ;)

2) I am strong but, 

3) it feels good to have someone with you to share in the worry.

4) I now have proof that I have a brain in my head ;) - This eliminates me from any more blonde jokes!

5) I am lucky to have family and friends that worried with me and prayed for me.  It matters.

6) I look at others with a greater awareness of individual struggles.

7) I am so blessed to be healthy - and have a healthy family as well.

So, the next time you are getting frustrated with the person waiting on you or working with you - keep in mind that you don't know their story.  If you did, would you treat them differently? Would you smile more kindly?  Maybe give them an encouraging glance that lets them know that they are strong?  

I was searching for a powerful quote to put here.  I have one in my head - but I can't remeber it exactly and I couldn't find it.  BUT, I stumbled on this: Life's Little Instruction Book.  Happy reading!

Recognizing the 'lasts'?

This post may seem completely random and totally unorganized but I had a few experiences/ thoughts I wanted to share.

Random Experience #1:  Last night, a group of us celebrated my nieces birthday.  We all went to this indoor jump / bounce place. It has all of those big blown up slides for the kids to play on....  there were 3 rooms full!  So, all 5 kids totally scattered! They had so much fun... and to be honest, us adults had a lot of fun too.  Not only watching the kids play but participating in the play too! :)  What a great work out and a wonderful way to spend a Thursday night!

Random Experience #2:  So, this morning LB decided he wanted to spend the day with Grandpa.  He had a little cough so I thought it was a good idea for him to get some rest.  He usually clings to me, especially in the morning. However, I have been noticing lately some detachment... dare I say... independence?  It makes my heart hurt feeling the slipping away of that little boy. But, at the very same moment I smile (through the tears) with so much pride.  I see this is a recurring theme as a parent.  It hurts to let go but there is so much enthusiasm for the next step.  It is exciting to watch them learn and grow and experience the joys of life.  LB now insists on getting into the bathtub on his own...  He attempts every chance he gets to go up and down the stairs on his own.  He is always telling me "Nee Nee do it" (Nee Nee is how he says his name...  Nee Nee and Brayden don't sound anything alike but I swear it is the cutest thing).  This morning he was beaming with independence.  He said "Mommygotowork?" (and he says it so fast - like an auctioneer).  But then he did 2 firsts.  They had me gasping for air.  He said "kisses!" and pointed to his lips.  So, we smooched...  like a million times because I thought it was so adorable.  Then he said "hug? See you soon! Love you!"  My heart ached...  It literally hurt from so much love and joy I thought it would burst.  

B and I - Outer Banks '10Thinking about all of the new firsts makes me sad about all of his 'lasts.'  Will I recognize them before they are gone forever?...   

#3 Random thought: I have had this quote sitting on my desk all week...  I haven't wanted to change it (I peeked at the next one it is good too but this one applies - I will keep it there for a while).  It says: The best way out is always through.  How true. 

Well, I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed weekend!  I am excited for what my Monday / Tuesday post will be...  I still don't know what it will be about yet - maybe a fun weekend with LB.  Maybe another furniture make over or the purchase of some new items... maybe all of the above! ;) 

~xo~

The not-so-terrible two's

Another day, another birthday... but not just any birthday.  Today is the 2nd birthday of my sweet niece, Maxine Lou.  

I have learned that children can be angels - as long as their parents aren't around.  Which, is usually the case with my nieces and nephews - LB included.  However, it is hard for me to ever picture this angelic face ever act out!  She is always so sweet. 

Her and I have a special bond - at least I think so.  In order to save on daycare costs and to have our trusted family watch our kids my sister, brother-in- law, and I did a lot of trading.  All 3 of us had different work schedules so odds were one of us was always off.  So, I was blessed to have this sweet girl in my house 2 or 3 days a week and LB would go over to their house a couple days a week as well. So, we all became very close.  I have to admit, it wasn't a fair trade.  LB can be a stinker AND he had total mom attachment issues.  So I think he was a lot to take on.  Which, was not the case with Max.  

Maxine is happy.  She is alittle like a chameleon.  She can blend in anywhere and be completely content. LB, Max, and I would have so much fun.  We would walk to the park, swim, dance, play at the farm, ect. It gave LB a sense of what it was like to have a sibling - which was good.  It pushed him to have to share both toys and his mommy.  That, of course, always went smoothly and there was never any hitting, screaming, or crying... ever ;)  Maxine was there when LB said his first word.  We were around to see Max go from crawling to walking to running.  I got to know my adorable niece and also got to know my sister and brother-in-law on a different level as well.  They are great parents.  They have a real partnership.  And, even though I am the older sister, they have been teaching me.  I see what they have and I have set my standards higher because of it. They may not see it everyday in each other, but to us looking in - what they have is unique and special.  Maxine (and now a new little brother too) are blessed for experiencing something so beautiful. 

Here's to the not-so-terrible two's.  Stay just as you are.  Happy Birthday we all love you!  

To see more photos of Maxine's big blue eyes and beautiful smile click here, here, here, and here.

Always 8...

...that smile...So, this post is a few weeks early.  He doesn't turn 18 until March.  However, I took some of his Senior pictures yesterday and it made me sad... :(

My little brother Nick is the baby of the family.  We are 11 years apart so, myself and the other older siblings helped a lot.  There were so many of us that our household was always a team effort.  

I would always make Nick hold my hand.  If we were walking to Sunday school after church, to the park, through a parking lot, ect.  He would always argue with me but he would eventually give in and listen. For some reason, I have always had the hardest time remembering his age.  To me, Nick was always 8. It was the age that was ingrained into my brain.  Each year was another birthday and another year further from 8.  It became my joke with him every birthday, "How old are you again, 8?"   I think that is when he really came into his own.  He started being intentionally sneaky but also developed a strong work ethic (yes, at 8).  

Nick is a stinker.  He is sensitive and stubborn and a self proclaimed Mama's boy - and proud of it! He has this smile - a smile that always says "I am up to something." And bets are, he usually is.  He had to survive a household of women ( Dad and Nathan were usually working outside).  I attribute that to his sensitive nature, and he will probably be mad at me for posting that but, it is one of my favorite traits about him.  I believe it will make him a wonderful husband / partner someday. 

You add a spark of life to our family, always have.  When we watch you graduate, there wont be a dry eye in the family.  We are proud of you.   Whatever you do, it is going to be great. We love you.  And, no matter how many days and years go by I will always see the 8 year old in you.

Check out the first session of Nick's Senior picturess here!

Beautifully Rooted: Uprooted for Good.

This was too good not to share.  Within the first few sentences I started to cry.

Beautifully Rooted: Uprooted for Good.

... in these shoes....

I love these - Overstock.com... I love shoes.  Really.  I think if there is anything I am mildly obsessed over it would definitely be shoes.  I love to think about what my shoe closet would  will look like when I have this beautiful organized closet full of b.e.a -utiful shoes!  Strappy ones, shiny ones, flats and boots... and you can not leave out adorable little sandals...  but I have a soft spot for high pointy heels.  My toes are formed to a point because it doesn't matter how painful, I will suffer through it to wear my cute heels. I have to stop myself from buying so many...  I stop and think, where would I wear these?  I don't go out.  I don't get dressed up.  Not anymore.  I wear my pj's to the store.  It's a miracle if I even shower on the weekends! (- tmi??)  

"The only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, is learning to walk a lifetime, comfortably in your own."

I am starting to do this - learning to walk in my shoes.  I love to reference the 'lemons' in my life.  I don't mind admitting that I have made mistakes along the way and I fully embrace that I will continue to make more, and that's ok as long as I am learning.  I think, in the past I was so terrified of making the wrong decisions that it actually pushed me into making what I thought was a 'safer' choice and not what I actually wanted for my life. However, as I always say the paths that have lead me to where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be, and I am comfortable with that.  

I love reading Marc and Angel.  I think to myself, 'how did he / she come up with these brilliant words?'  It is so wise, yet so simple.  

"Life’s best lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  So yes, you will fail sometimes.  The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  So get out there and try!  Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson.  Win – Win."

I have become a 'do-er' lately.  I have stopped making excuses for the limitation and roadblocks.  Where there is a will there is a way - So, I keep finding a way.  And, I am going to keep doing because I have found happiness for myself in the doing.  Before, I lived for others and for their dreams that I adapted into my own.  As a mom, you naturally put your child first - and, there isn't anything wrong with that.  LB is still my first.  But, I am a close second. I have found for myself things that I really love.  Actually, I have so many things I want to do that I am having a hard time fitting them all in.  

I have about a half dozen furniture pieces waiting in the wings for a little face lift.  I am lining up my little photography sessions.  I sit and crochet at night (still not very good at it but I like it).  And, I have some secret projects that I am creating in my head.  Hopefully this summer they will come to fruition.  

So, I may not walk comfortably in my own shoes - bets are they are an uncomfortable pair of heels - but, I will do it with a smile and as gracefully as I can.  

It is more than words {Birthday tribute to Mom}

Grandma & Brayden May '10 - Zie's GraduationWhere to start…?  I decided that I would try to write one blog entry this year for each one of my family members on their birthdays.  This entry will be hard to limit how much I say, but yet hard to find the words to say what I want as well.  Today, on Valentines day, is also my Mom’s birthday.  She too turns 54 (and she will probably disown me now that I have put her age out there for everyone to see). 

As I mentioned last week in my Dad’s birthday post, My Mom stayed home with us as we were growing up.  As kids, that didn’t stand out to us as anything significant – it was just how it was.  We didn’t think about the home cooked hot meals on the table every night or the clean clothes to wear everyday.  It was just how it was.  Mom was always there.  Looking back, now that I am a Mom, I now realize that those things DO NOT just happen.  It is challenging to coordinate schedules everyday – especially when there is a family of 8 – Yes, I have 5 more siblings.  Mom ran our household for 25 years effortlessly (at least that is how it looked to us).  Dad, Mom, Mal - Brookfield Zoo summer '10

About 8 or 9 years ago, she decided to go back to work.  Mom is a teacher.  Again, something else that as kids we did not see the personal sacrifices that she gave up to stay home.  Now, it is a blessing that she was able to - but, you should see what a wonderful teacher she is - and it is her passion.  So, when I say she sacrificed she really did.  She chose one lifestyle over another.  She put her other avenue of dreams on hold to persue what her and my dad thought was right for having a family.  If you ask her now, she wouldn't have done it any other way.  My mom LOVES teaching.  She loves her students - even the stinkers (I think the stinkers are actually her favorite).  She goes in early and stays late.  Her eyes light up when she talks about her students.   She is always searching out new ways to educate them to be sure they aren't bored and that they are learning to the best of their abilities.  She encourages reading every chance she gets.Racer Drew and Grandma - Halloween '11

The baby of the famly is a senior this year and we were working on some words to have put into his year book.  I teased my Mom, "you don't like mooshy gooshy words."  She looked at me a little miffed, "Well, you all know I love you though, right?".  I just smiled.  I thought it was funny that she would even ask.  "Of course we know."  We know that she loves each of her six kids and each grandchild that comes along (She is up to 10).  We know because it isn't in her words, it is in her actions.  It is in her prideful smile.  It is in every tear that falls, the happy and the sad ones.  She feels with us.  She has gone (and still goes) to every sporting event, since t-ball (times 6).  She helps to celebrate every 'win' that each of us has in our life (times 6).  She cries along with us when our hearts break (times 6).  She enters 30 projects into the county fairs (times 6) because it raised money for our college funds.  We had college funds (times 6).  It was in every pair of shoes bought - and picked up (times 6).  It is shown when She helps load up a car and drive 12 hours through a snow storm to help her determined-not-to-fail daughter move to Virginia.  Then when things don't work out she drives 12 more hours there, and 12 hours back to move her home (thanks Mom).  She listens (times 6).  She gives advice (times 6).  She worries (times 16).  I could go on and on.Mom and Kim at Mal's baby shower - Feb '10

It is appropriate that we celebrate the holiday of love, on your birthday.  You show us so much love. Thank you for all you do.  Thank you for all the gifts you have given us - the values you instilled and the sacrifices you made.  Thank you for dancing, singing, playing, chasing, laughing... times 6.

We love you (times 16 + Dad) - and will spend the rest of our lives showing you how much. 

Zie's Graduation family picture - May '10

(this is an old picture - I am sure there a few Grandkids missing.  The most recent family picture is of all of us at the beach on vacation.  I already posted her age - I didn't want to push my luck and post one of her - the entire family - in our swimsuits)

Happy Birthday!

against the wind and tide

"From the beginning I wanted to live my own life and patiently I shored up that desire against the wind and tide." ~Ella Maillart

I saw this quote the other day and for some reason I was over come with this warm familiar feeling. Maybe it is knowing that through the challenges, bits and pieces of me are taken away with the wind and tide but there is always something new brought back.  The shore is changed over time.  Bit by bit and piece by piece but the definition of what it is, what it stands for, and what its purpurose is never really changes.  

...to 54 more!

This is a day early (better early than late).  Our family has a lot of birthdays in February.  To kick off the month on the 11^th is my Dad’s birthday.  This year he will be 54.  It is hard for me to go back and see where the time has gone, I can only imagine how he feels.  His children are grown, and he has grandkids that are growing too fast.  I have a favorite story that I wanted to share, in honor of my Dad’s 54^th birthday. 

My mom stayed home with us and my dad farmed.  Financially, it made things tight, but also made us grow up happy and humble.  We didn’t want for anything, not really.  I didn’t grow up with electronic games or MTV.  I grew doing chores and raising animals to show at the local 4-H fair.  We did not waste gas on unnecessary trips to town.  We were no strangers to pulling weeds in the garden, walking beans, and detassling corn. We played kick the can and could run bare foot across gravel faster than anyone I knew! It doesn’t sound glamorous – but, I loved it, truly. 

For my 10^th birthday, it was like every other.  Mom made dinner and cake and had my birthday presents wrapped.  The card is always signed, “Love ya, Mom and Dad.”  Dad was usually just as curious to see what gifts we received as we were.  However, Dad made the decision to do things a little different for my 10^th birthday.  He asked me if I wanted to go to the store to see what we could find.  We went to the only store Dad was really familiar with, Farm&Fleet.  We made the 30 minute trip and got to the store.  We did some looking around and my eyes caught the most magnificent light-washed jean jacket I had ever seen.  $24.99 – ouch!  We did NOT spend money like that.  So, we decided to keep looking.  After perusing for twenty minutes or so, Dad decided we should go back and check out that jean jacket again.  I can still remember how I felt in that moment – I wanted that jacket, but did not want Dad to spend that money.  I was excited and nervous.  He said, “do you like it?” I replied, “yes, but its ok, that is a lot of money.”  He shrugged and smiled.  He picked the jacket off the rack.  “Would this size fit?  I tried it on and beamed, “yeah it fits.”  “Well, lets go check out.”  I am sure we walked out with other necessary items like oil and filters…  And, I am pretty sure he crabbed a pack of twizzlers on the way to the cashier.   

My Dad and I don’t always see eye to eye but I have grown an appreciation for his insights.  I have learned through the years that he is a very kind and wise soul.  Sometimes outspoken – And yes, I know where I get it from! I am so proud of the lessons he has taught me and continues to teach me.  He loves to farm.  I want that for myself – to do what I love, with a passion.  He makes it look so easy.  I often think he is one with the ground.  He has risen early and stayed up late to get field work accomplished.  Every minute counts when you have nice weather.  Mother Nature can change her mood at the drop of a dime (typical woman).  She can make or break an entire year’s crop.  Dad, now better known as Grandpa – has a remarkable relationship with the grandkids.  It’s hard to know who beams more –  The little ones when they coming running through the door, or Grandpa scooping them up.

Dad, on your birthday and for everyday I forget to say it.  Thank you for the blessing you have given our family.  We are all proud of you – and we love you!  Happy 54^th Birthday – here’s to 54 more! 

I heart quotes

I have always found that quotes and inspirational messages have a way of kicking me into a place I need to be, go, or get out of.  Do you know what I mean?  Some days it seems like the same old thing, same routine, the clock just ticks on.  But, these quotes / thoughts of the days / inspirational messages seem to find you when you need them most. 

Thanks to pinterest they find me every time I am pinning (which happens to be WAY TO OFTEN).  So, I thought I would share a few of my favorites – the ones that keep me thinking.  Thanks to them, those mundane days seem a little brighter.  I appreciate bigger.  Find humor in the challenges.  Show gratitude daily.  

always make new mistakes 

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us 

"Its impossible," said pride.  "Its risky," said experience.  "Its pointless," said reason.  "Give it a try," whispered heart. 

You don’t have to be rich to sparkle 

Your journey is unfolding exactly as it should be 

This is my Keg Stand t-shirt  - click the link to see the t-shirt, seriously... so funny!

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher

Keep the gleam in your eyes. Teach feelings. Be there.  Read books outloud with joy. REMEMBER how small they are … 

Teach him words for how he feels. Answer him when he asks “Why?”  Let him ruin his clothes. Be an example of a beautiful women with brains, determination, and integrity. Build him forts. Take him to new places. Kiss him.  BE HOME BASE. 

I carry your heart in mine 

When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is remember the teacher is always quiet during a test. 

A poor man is not the one without a cent. A poor man is the one without a dream. ~ Henry Ford

Think Happy.  Be Happy. 

Laugh Louder.  (my new desk daily quote book).

I have gone on a little online yard sale shopping spree… I am looking forward to another furniture refinishing weekend.  This will be coupled with 2 mini senior portrait sessions and a family birthday party (happy birthday Mom, Dad, Layna, and Max!).  I have LOTS of items I want to paint.  I will have to see what I can get done.  Stay tuned on Monday for a few furniture face lifts and some new Senior Smiles.  I am blessed to be so busy!! 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Life Lessons for LB {sharing my heart}

I have been keeping a journal (a gift I got from LB's Dad).  It isn't so much of a journal as it is letters to my son.  I catch myself writing ongoing life lessons.  He's only two and a half so he is going to have a lot of reading to do by the time he is eighteen.  I feel like this has been therapeutic.  I have a way of sharing with him the things that he just can't possibly keep stored.  Now, he will have it forever. 

There is a great quote by Elizabeth Stone, ‘Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside of your body.’ This is very true.  You will learn this when you become a parent.  When you cry, my heart cries.  When you get hurt, my heart hurts.  When you smile, laugh, and love – my heart does the same.  A piece of me resides within you.

Oh the places you’ll go – “There will be times in your life when you feel stuck.  It’s up to you to decide where you’ll go.  Keep on trekking.  Go, go, go kid.  You’ll move mountains.”  I have not a doubt in my mind that you will do just this.  Be strong, be kind and there is nothing you can’t do.

Accept others.  Be kind to everyone.  Everyone has their own story, their own challenges and struggles.  Accept them as they are and treat them with respect – they deserve it until they show you that they don’t. 

Being a man. It isn’t defined by the extra curricular activities that you pursue.  Being a man, being you, is defined by your character.  Be emotional, be sincere, be you.  I am always proud of you.

Work with your hands.  Our family comes from hard workers.  They have dirt on their hands, literally.  I want you to know how to change your oil (and your moms) and I want you to help Grandpa in the field.  This will help you to be a well rounded individual. 

Go to College.  This is not an option and absolutely not negotiable.  I will support whatever you want to do with your life but you have to have a degree and the experience that comes with going to collage. 

Find your passion.  Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life.  Do it as your career or on the side as a hobby.  Always know that life is worth living.  It goes too quickly and it is wasted if you don’t enjoy it.  If you live this way, you will inspire others to do the same.

Never stop learning.  If you don’t know the answer to something, ask.  Why and how create stimulation in your brain. That is how you learn.  Figure out the mechanical, chemical, environmental causes for everything.  Take classes for enjoyment ~ Solely for the purpose of learning. 

Respect. Period.  Show it to everyone.  You are no better or worse than anyone else.  Friends, family, loves, strangers, earth – all deserve your respect.  You get what you give.

Put the toilet seat down.  Seriously.  Not only is it polite but it is sanitary to do so.

Dream.  Smile.  Love.

 And last but not least, home is where your heart is.  Go and explore.  Travel and experience life.  Just know that you can always come home.  I will always be there with open arms and with a kiss in the crook of your neck (that’s my favorite place). 

Kisses times 10, LB. Love you! 

February 1 {one month follow up}

Well, a month ago (give or take a day) I wrote Reflection and Anticipation {2011 Review / 2012 New Beginning} and I am happy to say that I am making progress - and progress can never be a bad thing.  Here are the action items I highlighted for resolution for 2012: 

Smile more, frown less: I think I am doing A LOT better here.  I am making a conscious effort to control my thoughts, both the positive and negative and I can honestly say my outlook is better.  I continue to check Marc and Angel for some helpful tips but all in all I can say that after 30 days in, I am smiling more. Very important question: Can frown lines be reversed by smile lines??  Here's to hoping!! 

Compliment more, critique less:  I am complimenting more.  If I think it in my head, I try to say it out loud.  Critiquing is more of a conscious effort to not be negative so, ...  I am working on it :)

Be a more effective listener: Still not very good at this one.  I interrupt A LOT!!  And I multi task while listening, which does not make me a very effective listener.  So, much improvement is still needed here!

PATIENCE: Still working on this.... 

Challenge myself: I think every time I take pictures, blog, and tackle one of my DIY projects I am challenging myself so I would say this is going well.  I am hoping I can add many more posts in February. At least 2 per week - that is my goal. 

Live a healthier lifestyle: Daily struggle.  I am a yo yo junk food junkie...  I go in kicks - buy healthy food = eat healthy food.  Buy junk = eat junk.  It is a vicious cycle! One the positive side, I am working out in the morning!  A few things that are helping my motivation: 1) the gym is right next door to LB's daycare -literally next door so I am not wasting time driving.  2) I am working out with my girlfriend.  We text every night to coordinate schedules.  Having someone else to keep me accountable has been beneficial! 3) Realistic standards - my goal is 3 times per week and if I go more than it is a bonus! I am hoping to get up to every weekday - but I am trying to keep realistic standards until I can develop my routine. 

Take more pictures: check! I still want to do more but until I can have a cool phone (I have one from the 1990's to save money) that will do this for me, it just isn't as feasible to drag the Nikon around everywhere I go.

Set the 'To Do' list aside: I AM making less lists - but, I am also forgetting a lot of things at the store due to my lack of lists...  working on the balance!

Life, Love and Lemons Update: For the month of January I had 232 unique viewers and almost 2000 pages viewed!  That is more than double for December! I have a couple of photo sessions to edit and add this week and a few more to take this month.  Looking forward to February!  Don't forget to get updates via the Facebook page and to contact me on great deals to capture your special moments! 

How do you eat an elephant?....

So, I LOVE this saying...  You may be wondering, if you haven't heard it before, well then, how DO you eat an elephant?  Well, the answer is: ... one bite at a time.  

Sometimes,...  most of the time, in life I would like to be able to just be where I want to be.  But, as life should have it; it doesn't work this way.  Bite by bite, or step by step you eventually get to where you are supposed to be.  Sometimes you may choke and sometimes you may stumble but with a lesson or two you eventually learn to chew more slowly or exam better the path you are walking.  But, you do in fact  get there... or at least that is what I am told.

I choke / stumble a lot :)  I have learned that about myself.  I learn by doing and sometimes the ‘doing’ that I choose doesn’t always work out the way I thought.  My life isn’t exactly where I had anticipated it to be at the ripe ol’ age of 29…. Actually, it isn’t even close… and that makes me laugh a little because I can’t really imagine it any other way but exactly how it is.  I think back to all of the different path options and the different ways my life could have ended up …  but really, what is the point of doing that.  It’s called hindsight for a reason.  

In my new little venture, I have to continue to remind myself to move slowly and to stay focused.  And in the grander scheme, my life, I need to remind myself of that as well.  I sometime get so caught up in what I want for my life that I skip the necessary steps to really get to where I am going, and with that, a lot of the excitement that comes a long with figuring it out gets lost too.  

I dislike using the word ‘mistakes’…  I prefer to say lessons for progress.  I have had my share of mistakes, er, I mean, lessons (the lemons). I am a work in progress, and for me,  I wouldn't have it any other way - If I stop being 'in-progress' then what do I become??

I heart my lemons.  Without them, I wouldn't be exactly who I am.  

If you ask this guy, who I am isn't too shaby...